Ho ho ho. I never meant for this post to be ironic as I had the idea for it a few days ago, however I'm writing this on the sofa horribly stuffed with hot cross buns and pasta. I'm feeling ghastly and today was meant to be a low carb day. I have no idea why I decided to self sabotage because last week I exercised serious self control when doing keto for eight days. I actually do know why: my husband thinks for carb cycling to work properly, we must do 10 solid days of keto and then start carb cycling. Keto starts on Monday again. I know I can do it if I managed 8 but it didn't stop me from having a crazy blow out today. To be honest I regret it- it wasn't even an exercise day, I wasn't even pampering myself but this how I pamper myself when eating a load of junk food just isn't appropriate or when I'm trying to teach myself not to associate food with having a good time.
This particular long and lazy routine works best when you have little to do, an afternoon off or an entire day off.
1. Make sure your bed sheets are fresh on so your newly pampered little self has somewhere fitting to relax or sleep. You CANNOT be a pampered princess if your bed sheets are stale and smell strongly of your man's sweat- or even your own. Ideally someone else would change them for you but needs must.
2. Light an expensive gorgeously fragranced candle in the bathroom, give it time to let the fragrance permeate the bathroom. Meanwhile go and brew yourself a delicate yet decidedly refreshing tea. It should be a big cup, you'll take this with you to the bathroom.
3. Run the bath, in a ideal world you'll have some Lush products close to hand. Perhaps you may have even had a relaxed wander about the shops to buy suitable products for your pampering session I like Butterball at the moment. The smell is gorgeous and it makes the bathwater oily. While the bath is running apply a face mask- one suited to any dermatological woes you may have. I like Lush Cosmetic Warrior, it's good for when you have a case of the pizza face.
4. Make sure your bathroom radiator is on, put a big fluffy cream coloured towel on it to warm up before you get in the bath. Enjoy your bath. Remember deep dramatic sighs every so often as you fantasize about being a beautiful overworked diva who
5. After bath, dry off with aforementioned preheated towel. Moisturize with you favourite luxurious moisturizer.
6. Slip into something comfortable, pajamas and your Bambi slippers will suffice but if you really want to feel like a goddess at home, may I suggest a silk nightdress? I love my White Company full length one which my mum bought for my birthday at more than half price off. What a bargain.
7. If nails need a repaint now is the time. Stick a film on or a favourite TV series and give yourself your best at home manicure. OPI's formulas are usually the most reliable and free of the big three- toluene, formaldehyde and dibutyl phthalate. I also like Jessica. Make sure your cuticles are pushed back, your long soak should make them soft enough, and moisturized. I like Lanolips for this, but an oil like coconut or almond also works wonderfully. Did you make yourself another drink before manicure? Pampering can be thirsty work. Once your manicure is complete, watch the rest of the film, try to sit completely still for two hours. After this your nails will be much less vulnerable to chips.
8. If you need to eat something, make sure it's perfectly balanced and light. You don't want digestive issues before bed. Yes it's bedtime or naptime if it's during the day, either way make sure you sleep, pampering does really take it out of you. Read a book or magazine before your slumber so you can really appreciate your fresh sheets.
Happy pampering! Ps did you remember to blow out the candle?!